How To Talk To Your Child About Divorce

Children at different developmental and maturity levels will have a different understanding of divorce and how it will change their family life. When talking to your child about divorce, it is important that you tailor your discussion appropriately so that they understand enough about the situation, but not more than what is necessary. While this can be a difficult conversation to have with your child, take comfort knowing that this decision was made in the best interests of your family. Getting a divorce can provide your family with a new beginning, allowing you and your spouse to focus on being happier and more productive people, and therefore better parents to your children.

Consider the following points when talking to your kids about divorce:

• Explain that the divorce is not their fault. It can be difficult for young children to understand that what is happening to their parents is not their fault. Provide your child with extra reassurance that this is not something they caused, and repeatedly reinforce it.
• Keep it simple. Leave out any messy details about your divorce. Your child should not be a sounding board for adult problems – keep it simple to avoid any confusion.
• Pay attention to your child’s reactions. It is important to let your child know that you will always be there to support them and to give them multiple opportunities to express their worries. Pay attention to how they react to the news of your divorce not only when you tell them, but in the coming weeks and months as well. Communication and extra affection are critical during this time.
• Reassure your child that they are safe and loved. Your children may have questions about how their lives will change after their parents split up. Questions like “do I have to change schools,” “will you still love me, even if you don’t live with me,” and “how often will I get to see you” will likely come up. Be prepared to answer your child’s questions, both immediately and in the future, as they process what is going on. Assure them that just because mom and dad will no longer be living together does not mean that they will not have security and love.

Are you considering a divorce? The divorce lawyers at Modern Family Law are here to support you during this time of transition. We invite you to contact our firm to set up a free initial consultation during which you can speak with one of our attorneys about your questions and concerns.