Divorce Finances: Expert Insights With CDFA Brianna Beski

Brianna: I’ve been in the financial services industry for 15 years. I love being in this industry. When I was 26, I got married. It was a very beautiful ceremony, and at the reception, my mother told all of the wedding guests that she was divorcing my dad.

So, as you can imagine, their divorce wasn’t pretty, and I got calls from both my mom and dad talking about how they were running out of money.

It hit me that the decisions you make during divorce aren’t just your own. They affect your children, they affect your family, they affect your friends, and they affect your entire community.

Divorce is tough. But it’s a moment in time. There will be a chapter after this divorce, but you have to make decisions to get there.

Brianna: I’d say clarity is what I offer most. I give people a comprehensive understanding of what their financial picture looks like now, as well as what their decisions will look like for the future. You know, in a few months, in a few years, at retirement, at life expectancy, I can offer clarity on what different decisions mean as far as tax consequences. I don’t offer tax or legal advice, but I do know a lot about taxes.

I do help people be a little bit strategic. For example, people often want the house during a divorce for a lot of reasons. And they’re willing to give up a lot to get the house.

They start digging themselves into a hole to keep the house, and they give up all the other stuff.

Giving people an upfront understanding helps them make better decisions and, hopefully, avoid those pitfalls.

Caroline: So, not letting the emotion overcome everything can be challenging, right?

Brianna: As you highlighted, divorce is a very emotional process, and I work with a lot of divorce professionals, and what I hear time and time again is yes, emotions matter.

But you’re going to have much better outcomes when you take the emotions out of it and look at it clear-headed and make decisions from a business-like perspective. Yes, emotions matter. You’re allowed to have emotions, but they need to be separate, and having professionals, like lawyers or financial analysts, is going to help to bring you that clarity.

Brianna: In most cases, the clients are my clients first. They tell me whether or not they want me to talk to their attorney. So the attorney and I both have a joint client, and we’re all figuring this out together. I also have a couple of cases it’s going to mediation, and the attorney brings me in to offer a few options to their clients. I am here to provide clarity, which is often why attorneys bring me in. They have found that this leads to more referrals because their clients have a better experience. Clients feel more at ease—literally, their shoulders drop. They become calmer and more confident, which makes mediation more productive since they are less afraid.

I often collaborate with attorneys, especially when they need to understand the tax implications of certain decisions. You cannot simply compare a $500,000 house to a $500,000 401(k) as if they are equal—they are taxed differently, and those differences have a significant impact on the client’s financial outcome. Understanding the true “walk-away” values is crucial.

In short, I help people make sense of the numbers. But beyond that, I enhance the client experience, helping them feel more confident in their decisions. This, in turn, leads to more productive discussions with attorneys and ultimately better outcomes.

Caroline: If you could give any piece of advice to family lawyers about addressing financial matters with their clients, what would it be?

Brianna: You don’t have to be an expert in everything, and quite frankly, I think it’s a green flag to your clients that you’re willing to ask for help. I had a case last month where my client could have lost a lot of money without my help, the difference was in the multiples of seven figures. If I hadn’t been working with the client and the attorney, the client could have sued for malpractice. Attorneys are very smart, and they’re experts in the law. And it’s okay to have to ask for help, right?

Brianna: I use specialized software to help clients understand the real impact of their financial decisions. For example, when considering spousal maintenance, paying out a house, or offering lump sums, I can show them what these choices mean for their long-term financial stability.

I provide a clear probability of success—whether their plan has an 80% chance of sustaining their goals through life expectancy or if it drops to 45%, signaling the need for adjustments. This allows us to explore alternative strategies to reach a more secure outcome.

My approach meets clients where they are, guiding them through decisions in a way that makes sense to them. While I love numbers and spreadsheets, I recognize that not everyone does. That is why I present these probabilities visually rather than relying on spreadsheets, making the information more accessible and easier to understand.

Caroline: When one party has significantly fewer financial assets than the other, how do you approach those cases?

Brianna: It is essential to meet clients where they are with respect and understanding. In many cases, there is a breadwinner spouse and a caretaker spouse—both of whom have contributed significantly to the marriage in different ways. Just because one may have less financial knowledge or fewer assets does not make them any less important, intelligent, or capable; they simply have not had the same experience in that area.

That is why I prioritize ensuring that clients fully grasp one concept before moving on to the next. I firmly believe that knowledge is power—when people are well-informed, they are better equipped to make decisions that serve their best interests.

Caroline: And that is probably a key aspect when working with a client who has fewer financial assets: you need to collaborate closely with their attorney to effectively demonstrate their financial needs.

Brianna: Exactly. We’re doing cash flow analyses and creating budgets to demonstrate the need for spousal maintenance.

Caroline: And over the years, have you seen any different trends in your field? Has it changed at all?

Brianna: I practice almost exclusively in Colorado, and lately, I have seen financial abuse play a significant role in some cases. Attorneys often reassure their clients, saying, “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” and they are usually right—the facts are in their client’s favor. However, what is sometimes missing is a clear explanation of why that is the case.

For example, a client might be terrified that they are responsible for half of a mysterious $70,000 withdrawal. But if that amount was never disclosed in the sworn financial statement or supporting documents, that fact works in their favor.

I frequently get calls from clients who are overwhelmed with fear, and I often wish they either trusted their attorneys more or that their attorneys took just two extra minutes to say, “It is okay. I have got you. The facts are on your side. You hired me for a reason.” That small reassurance can make a huge difference in a client’s confidence and peace of mind..

It is far more common than people realize, yet difficult to prove, which is why it does not often appear in court. In cases where attorneys have successfully demonstrated that financial abuse was a factor, there was clear evidence—text messages, letters, and documented records. However, many survivors do not know where to find these documents or how to gather the proof needed to support their case.

Caroline: So, is that a trend you have noticed increasing over the years?

Brianna: Not necessarily increasing, but with advancements in technology, more people can gather evidence—what some might call “pulling the receipts”—that may not have been accessible before. Thankfully, this is bringing financial abuse to light more often, but proving it in court remains a significant challenge.

Brianna: Keep receipts. You can download text message conversations to be used as evidence in court. There are ways to prove a fact pattern. If you have heard of an account somewhere, be aware that you can request your tax returns from the IRS. Those are good places to start.

Caroline: I know we discussed some common mistakes, but are there other recurring challenges you frequently encounter when working on divorce cases?

Brianna: So, it ties back to the trend we discussed—access to information. I cannot tell you how often people come to me saying, “I do not even know where to get a copy of our taxes, let alone where else to look.”

That is often the biggest challenge. As I mentioned, you do have the ability to request your tax returns from the IRS. Your Social Security number is on them, and in theory, you signed them. That is usually the first place I recommend starting because tax returns contain a wealth of financial information that many people may not even realize is there.

Additionally, experienced attorneys have ways to uncover critical financial details, helping clients piece together the full picture.

Brianna: Always take the time to fully understand your financial situation—this is the most important step. Rushing through it and thinking, I will figure it out later, can lead to unnecessary challenges down the road.

I am frequently asked, more often than I would like to admit, How do I prepare my documents for divorce or How can I understand my assets? To help with this, I have written a detailed blog post on the topic and also hosted a webinar last year, which is available as a replay on my website. Directing people to these resources allows them to get the information they need more efficiently.

Caroline: Great! Do you have any other resources that you recommend to clients to better understand their financial situations?

Brianna: I have a blog that I frequently recommend to clients as a primary resource. Additionally, if we are focusing on post-divorce matters, I have a “Done with Divorce“ checklist that highlights important tasks people often overlook, such as updating passwords and changing beneficiaries, which is crucial after a divorce. The checklist also outlines who needs to be involved in each step. In some cases, that includes an ex-spouse, and—just to reflect my own sense of humor—I made their column noticeably smaller than everyone else’s.

Brianna: Have all of your documents ready—pretty much everything you need for the sworn financial statement. A financial advisor will want to see those. Also, have your questions handy. And then, mentally prepare yourself. When you’re sitting with a financial advisor, do a gut check: How comfortable are you asking questions?

You want to be in an environment where you’re respected. It’s so important. You should feel comfortable asking questions.

Caroline: Thank you, Brianna, for sharing such valuable insights!