6 Questions to Ask Before You Get Divorced

According to statistics, roughly half of marriages end in divorce. If you’re married, this statistic has probably crossed your mind. If you’re considering a divorce, take a step back and think about the following factors before finalizing your decision. Like marriage, divorce will change every facet of your life – for better or for worse – and have lasting ramifications.

For many people, this upshot of divorce is happiness, but the path to a new beginning isn’t accessible. Before you file for divorce, take some time to consider the following questions:

1. Why do you want a divorce?

When it comes to making a serious decision like divorce, motivation is everything. If you’re hoping to prove something to your spouse or motivate him/her to change, you’re getting a divorce for the wrong reason. Divorce won’t resolve your relationship; in fact, it can aggravate conflict. Before you file, make sure your only goal is ending the marriage, because that’s the purpose of getting a divorce.

2. Do you want a divorce? Or do you want to threaten divorce?

Threatening divorce is not a way to get your spouse’s attention, change his / her behavior, or make a statement. If your spouse frustrates you, starting the divorce discussion may seem like an easy way to get his / her attention. In reality, these threats can lead to real problems, such as a divorce you and your spouse didn’t want.

3. Are you reacting or making a decision?

Emotional reaction vs. objective self-awareness: both of these factors can make you question your marriage, but only the latter is a viable reason for breaking up your family. Marital conflict, including separation and divorce, involve positive and negative emotional attachments. Before you decide if you want to get a divorce, make sure your decision isn’t merely a reaction against your spouse.

4. Were you part of a marriage in the first place?

There’s a difference between being married and cultivating a marriage. If your relationship was little more than two people cohabitating to meet their own needs, divorce might be the best option. Marriage requires two people with the same goal: each other’s mutual interest. If you and your spouse weren’t a couple, to begin with, filing for divorce might be one solution.

5. How do you feel about your spouse?

This question may seem simple, but it’s essential. Ask yourself, do you still have feelings for your spouse? Once divorced, your spouse is free to develop new relationships with new partners. If you have trouble reconciling your emotions with this possibility, divorce may not be the best option for you at this point. It’s important to avoid making an emotional decision, only to realize you made a mistake.

6. Is divorce the best option for me?

With the right motivation and circumstances, divorce is more than a solution – it’s a fresh start. A multitude of questions, concerns, and other factors determine whether divorce is the best option for your family, including your children, financial situation, and the nature of your marital conflict. Take the time to figure out the right solution, prepare, and make a decision for your best interests.

Modern Family Law provides skilled and caring representation for families. Whether you’re facing a divorce or other family-related legal matter, our team can help you.