What Age Can A Child Decide Who To Live With?

When parents separate or divorce, one of the most pressing concerns is where the child will live. Many parents wonder: at what age can a child decide who to live with? While no state allows a minor child to have the absolute legal authority to choose their custodial parent, many states consider a child’s preference as one of the factors in custody decisions. However, the weight given to a child’s opinion varies significantly depending on the state and the circumstances of the case.

This article will break down how child custody decisions incorporate a child’s preference at the national level before diving into the laws and guidelines in Colorado, California, Texas, and Washington—the states we serve at Modern Family Law.

The National Perspective On A Child’s Say In Custody

There is a general legal consensus across the U.S. that a child’s preference may be considered in custody cases, but only in the context of the child’s best interests. Judges are guided by “best interest of the child” standards, which take multiple factors into account, including:

• The emotional and physical needs of the child
• The ability of each parent to provide a stable home environment
• Any history of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence
• The child’s relationship with each parent
• The child’s maturity and reasoning for their preference

What Age Does a Child’s Preference Start to Matter?

While no universal age exists, many states begin considering a child’s wishes around age 12 to 14. Some states, such as Georgia and West Virginia, allow children aged 14 and older to have significant influence over custody arrangements, provided their choice aligns with their best interests.

A 2022 study on child custody outcomes found that:

• Over 75% of custody cases involve some consideration of the child’s preference when the child is over the age of 12.
• In about 35% of cases, courts grant the child’s preference, especially if they are 14 or older and their choice is well-reasoned.
• Judges are less likely to allow a child’s preference to dictate custody if they suspect parental manipulation or alienation.

Now, let’s explore how these principles apply in Colorado, California, Texas, and Washington.

Child Custody & A Child’s Preference In Colorado

In Colorado, a child’s preference is considered when making custody decisions, but it is just one of many factors under C.R.S. 14-10-124 (Colorado’s “Best Interests of the Child” standard).

At What Age Can a Child Decide?

Colorado does not set a specific age when a child’s preference automatically influences custody. However, courts tend to give more weight to the opinions of children who are 14 or older, especially if they can articulate a well-reasoned preference.

How Does the Court Evaluate a Child’s Choice?

A judge will assess whether the child’s reasoning is mature and independent or influenced by one parent over the other. If a child expresses a strong preference, the court may:

• Interview the child privately (in what is called an “in-camera” interview)
• Consider expert testimony from a child psychologist or Guardian ad Litem (a court-appointed advocate for the child)
• Look at the overall impact on the child’s well-being before making a final decision

Key Takeaway: In Colorado, while a child’s preference is considered, it does not determine custody outright. The decision remains in the hands of the court.

Child Custody & A Child’s Preference In California

California law explicitly allows children 14 and older to express a preference in court under California Family Code § 3042. However, like in Colorado, their preference does not dictate the outcome.

How Does California Consider a Child’s Preference?

• Children 14 and older: A judge must hear their preference unless it is deemed not in their best interests.
• Children under 14: Judges have discretion on whether to consider their wishes.
• Child Testimony Options: California courts try to avoid putting children in direct conflict with their parents. Instead of testifying in open court, children may share their preferences through:
  • A private interview with the judge
  • A child custody evaluator’s report
  • A Guardian Ad Litem’s recommendations

Key Takeaway: In California, children 14 and older have a greater say in custody matters, but the court ultimately makes the final decision based on the child’s best interests.

Child Custody & A Child’s Preference In Texas

In Texas, children 12 and older can have their preferences recorded through an interview with the judge (Texas Family Code § 153.009).

What Role Does a Child’s Preference Play in Custody?

• Judges are required to interview children 12 and older if requested.
• The child’s preference is not binding—the court makes the final decision.
• Judges consider factors like:
  • Parental stability
  • Education and social environment
  • Any history of neglect or abuse

Key Takeaway: Texas courts take a child’s preference seriously after age 12, but it does not automatically determine the outcome.

Child Custody & A Child’s Preference In Washington

Washington follows the “best interests of the child” standard under RCW 26.09.187. Unlike California or Texas, Washington does not set a specific age when a child’s preference is considered.

When Does a Child’s Preference Matter?

• Judges may consider a child’s opinion if they show sufficient maturity to make a reasoned decision.
• A Guardian ad Litem may be appointed to advocate for the child’s interests.
• Judges weigh factors like emotional ties, parental stability, and potential disruptions to the child’s routine.

Key Takeaway: In Washington, there is no set age, but the older and more mature a child is, the more likely the court will consider their opinion.

Final Thoughts: Does A Child’s Preference Decide Custody?

Across the U.S., including Colorado, California, Texas, and Washington, a child’s preference is an important factor but not the sole determinant of custody.

Key Points to Remember:
✔ Courts prioritize the child’s best interests over personal preference.
✔ Ages 12-14 is when courts typically begin considering a child’s opinion.
✔ Judges look for maturity and independent reasoning, not parental influence.

If you have questions about custody, parental rights, or child relocation, Modern Family Law can help. Our attorneys specialize in guiding families through child custody decisions with compassion and expertise.